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Must Read Insanity: Fraternity Hazing

Hey humans in the dream world of West Texas college:

Why do Dartmouth fraternities get all the attention for hazing their super smart and super rich students?

And Cornell?

Aren't we at Texas Tech cool enough to vomit on one another, tie one another up for beatings between brothers, make each other eat excrement or do the super exciting slip and slide tricks through other people's urine and semen?

Dang - I guess we really do suck at being Ivy League smart and Ivy League stupid.  All we can think to do to one another in the name of brotherhood is tip cows onto each other - WEAK!!!  Udderly Weak!!!

Terribly Kidding of course - Reading about the recent news happening at those highly rated colleges makes me glad I turned down my full ride to Harvard so I could learn from the best and brightest at Texas Tech.  (By full ride, I mean taking a round trip taxi back and forth from Harvard campus)

Anyway - just shows smart people can be the dumbest people...

And the reverse:  Pat Robertson can be brilliant - "Legalize Pot" - Heck yeah - I was not even aware that toilets were illegal in this country, but now that I know those porcelain pots are against the law, I am going to write in old Pat for President - (Unless Obama includes legal pots in his new "Yes We Can if we go to Ivy League schools")

Give me toilets or give me death I always say - at thanksgiving - during dinner...

Anyway, since this is a piece sort of dedicated to college at Tech, I want to tell everyone who goes there or who knows someone who goes there to make sure they realize and publicize there is Storage close to Texas Tech.

Yes!!!  Don't talk back.  There most certainly is...

Common belief/cruel rumor has been that Quality Self Storage Facilities (aka Lubbock Storage, Storage Lubbock or Self Storage Lubbock Texas) cannot be within a twenty mile radius of a campus because of the fear of Storage Wars breaking out and leading to student deaths and/or a hippie outbreak in the Business college.

Well, those are just lies from the Bourgeoisie and from the telescreen -

You've never heard of such clamor?  such cacophonous deceit?

Do you live in a cave with yetis?

Anyway, forget you.

Here is the truth anyway:  There is Amazing Storage close to Texas Tech.

Actually for your convenience there are several unbelievable options for Lubbock Storage Units and Lubbock Storage close to Texas Tech.

You know what this means?

It means that you can take your God-given and constitutionally-guaranteed (yeah right) freedom to choose a Texas Tech Storage space nearby wherein you can place your dorm/apartment/frat house/tech terrace rent house goods/valuables that are piling up in Hoarder stacks and pissing off your roommates/rentmoochermates.

Check out http://www.storagetodaylubbock.com, http://www.affordablestoragelubbock.com, http://www.addaclosetstorageoflubbock.com or http://www.storagelubbockaddacloset.com and find out the truth from the world wide web - the only news source you can trust for truth beyond the Bible.

Then go over to one or more of these Lubbock Self Storage sites and get you some of that sweet smelling storage space. Not the junkie kind - these I have suggested have climate control and dust control - and not the faraway kind.

(By the way, right now I am in a very crowded Starbucks coffee house with headphones on jamming out to the loudest possible version of Bad Romance by Lady Gaga - If my headphones become detached from my computer by some freak accident right now, I will literally doo-doo in my pants out of embarrassment.)

But at least then I could probably get into a sweet Ivy League Fraternity - Self-Doo-doo-ing to the beat of Lady Gaga in public gets you an automatic bid and a possible Senate seat later in life...

Okay - that was pure Donlinsanity!!!

You can go now - Class dismissed!!!

PS:  There is Storage close to Texas Tech and now Poker Face is on!!!  Should I jump to something manly like Zeppelin or move it on over to Aaliyah?