Loud Smith Media and Publishing


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Suicide Not...?

A lot of good people have committed suicide -

And when I say good, i really mean, "likable" or "friendly" or "talented" or "kind."

(I don't think anyone is "GOOD" especially in light of what Jesus said about his own lack of earthly goodness - If JC didn't claim goodness for himself, then I'm not going to apply that tag to myself or anyone else.)

Anyway, suicide is a common act chosen by people from just about every spot on the "good continuum."  And it is not as simple of an act to understand as most make it out to be - Determining a successful suiciders' motivation for taking themselves out cannot be done with a quick "selfish" or "stupid" or "easy way out" or even "they were depressed."  

Even if you have a suicide note in hand which might try to detail the reasonings behind the self-killers' movement, you don't have much to really go on.  Truth is that most people who kill themselves are not entirely sure why they have decided to end it all.  

Life is complicated and typically filled with a lot of pressures, losses, and negative circumstances - Sadness and pain stacks up for most and sometimes the final catalyst for a suicide might be the Jenga-pull put in the note, but it does not tell the entire journey from breathing to brutal stop. 

So, how about we stop guessing?

How about we simply assume this instead:  The person was having a really hard time - a time we cannot understand - and we will never be able to fully grasp their decision.  This assumption does not wrap it up as nicely as we might want it for the sake of closure, but it is more honest.

On the topic of suicide, it seems that far too many people involved in the creative arts kill themselves.  As a creative person myself, and as a person who has suffered from crushing levels of chemical depression and anxiety which have led me to the edge of this decision, I imagine that the above assumption still applies best.  In this world, we have many promised troubles that are not easy to persevere through.  

You might not have ever faced down a stack of troubles big enough to lead you to consider/desire death, but don't think you are past the possibility.  I never thought I would ever stare down a superstack of chemical, financial, relational, mental, and physical rainy days - But then a domino fell onto others and I found myself looking at one final writing project - my note.

Thankfully, my note turned into a journal entry and my God rebuilt (VERY SLOWLY) my world that still has plenty of troubles.  As well, thankfully, I changed the way I talked about suicide as a destination and I stopped simplifying the journey of pain that leads to a seemingly unstoppable jump.

Ever been at the edge?

What led you there?

What kept you from diving into the finality?

I hope to share my story with you over time, but I hope even more that you can feel free to share your story back.

We are survivors who know those who just could not go at it one more day.  

Check out my book series Mesus - if only for the first sections which deal with the subject of suicide - and lean hard on God - I strongly suggest making Jesus into your Master of choice too for he is the only one I can think of who was known as a man of sorrows and who actually faced "sorrow to the point of death."

Thanks for support from my friends at Steve Shepard art and from the creative masters at Dream Taxi Media and Marketing.