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  • Money tastes like Honey

    Actually, Money tastes like a thousand people's dirty hands which have touched inner buttocks, sickly snot and dog fur.  I accidentally put a piece of money in my mouth once sort of as a joke, but it backfired as I recalled that this piece of cash on my tongue was not new - it had passed through hundreds and maybe thousands of of unwashed fingers, strip club thongs, cash registers and probably nosebleeds.

    Money be disgusting.

    That being said, money is fun to spend and hard to save.

    Most people choke on debt caused by those two realities.  Most people also spend the majority of their lives chasing after more and more money - doing job upon job to bring home the "bacon" - which again tastes nothing like wonderful bacon.

    So, what am I suggesting here?

    1.  Do not put cash money in your mouth for any reason - unless you want both Ebola and E-coli

    2.  Do get someone to help you learn how to save and spend in a balanced way so you can keep from ending up working till you are 93 years old while living in a tent in Wolfforth.

    Who can help you?

    There are people found within the categories:  Certified Financial Planner Lubbock Texas, Financial Advisor Lubbock Texas, Financial Planner Lubbock Texas, Retirement Planning Lubbock Texas and Wealth Management Lubbock Texas.

    They can help you better than some stupid green line you see on TV.

    I suggest checking out www.antiochfinancial.com if you want someone you can trust.  Ask for Brock.  He is a stud.  And he usually does not try to stick cash money in your mouth.

    I am going to use him at some point after I floss out these nickels...

  • Audrey Hepburn's shoes

    Big Welcomes to our Guest Blogger Haylee Swinford who is talking fine women's shoes especially hard to fit sizes (narrow shoes, slender shoes and Quad Women's shoes.)

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    I don’t know about you, but when you think of the most stylish, influential women in our culture, Audrey Hepburn comes to mind. She was classy, independent, and idolized by so many women, then and now.

    One of the most memorable things about Hepburn was her style. For the last sixty years, women have striven to emulate her fashion sense. Numerous Etsy stores sell handmade Audrey Hepburn inspired items, blogs give step-by-step instructions on how you can be more like her. Her style is timelessly elegant. And what were her shoes of choice?

    Ballet flats. Hepburn wanted to be a ballerina when she was younger, but her height and malnutrition she suffered during WWII meant she could never excel in dancing, even though she spent several years of her young life doing ballet. She would also always be conscious about her height. At 5 ft 7 in, Hepburn found herself taller than many female actresses of her day. She preferred wearing flats and kitten heels in part because they did not add to her height, they were comfortable, and they worked for her.

    Hepburn firmly believed in finding a style that worked for you and sticking with it. She did not follow trends. While other popular actresses of her time were loud, blonde and buxom, she was dark-haired, fair-skinned, thin and introverted. She did not change herself to meet fashion statements of other people. Her elegant, simple style was all she needed.

    There are few shoe stores around that want to help women find the shoes best for their feet. In most shops, you’ll find the “most stylish” shoes, and that’s what you’re expected to wear. But not everyone’s feet are perfectly shaped to fit into those shoes. And who would expect them to be? Everyone’s feet, just like everyone’s style, are different.

    Ann Lilli Fine Shoes is a shoe boutique whose goal is to find the shoes that are perfect for your feet. Your feet might need narrow width shoes or quad-size shoes. You might not know what kind of shoes you need. If you’ve had trouble finding shoes that fit your feet, shoes that are comfortable or stylish shoes that don’t make your feet ache, visit Ann Lilli to find the shoes that will perfectly fit you and your style.

     

    annlilli.com

    Special thanks to

    Lubbock SEO

    SEO Lubbock

  • Storing your Crap?

    Truth.

    You got crap.

    I got crap.

    Literally.

    In our intestines.

    But here we are speaking not of developing feces, but of "stuff" also known as material possessions or as Marxist capital or as the junk spilling out of every space in your abode.

    I think the word "crap" is a cool way to describe pretty much everything we own.  Even if the world really values it and puts a significant price tag on some of our stuff, it is all really crap.  Just mess-making things which crowd attics and closets and dens and basements and the dungeon you keep hidden from sensible people - unless you are storing some of those sensible people in your dungeon (word to you nut cases - you will get caught - most people have had GPS monitoring systems placed into their wrists or foreheads and can thus be tracked.)

    Anyway, I like "crap" as much as the next guy.  I have plenty of it.  Drawers of "crap."  Refrigerator full of "crap."  Garages full of "crap."  Even my computer is full of "crap."  And most people say I am totally full of "crap."

    But what can be done with "crap" once it cannot be jammed into some space we own?

    We could throw it away - which is advisable if you have a bunch of empty Bulk size boxes of Cap'n Crunch and Cat litter (but no cat.)  But, most of the time we don't want to throw away our "crap" because it is our "crap" we paid money for - or "crap" we received as a present - or "crap" we found at a sweet Estate sale.

    So another option is to become a hoarder - which is fun for a while.  Having to tiptoe through hundreds of phone books, Mad magazines and plastic plants is a cool game for you and your visitors to play until the rats move in and try to gnaw off parts of your body in the night.  This happens to everyone who chooses this hoarding option.  Just thought you should know in case you are not into rats running off with the left side of your nose.

    Another and probably the best option is to pile up a whole lot of your "crap" onto a trailer or into a truck and take it to a really secure Lubbock Self Storage facility.  There are a lot of amazing Lubbock Storage spots that have been built by brilliant Storage Builders (Self Storage Builders.)  These Lubbock Storage Units are big enough to hold all of your "crap" for as long as you want it held.  These Storage Lubbock spaces are even willing to hold your "crap" until and probably even throughout an apocalyptic event, which is really convenient if you believe in Zombie movies and in movies like The Road starring Viggo Mortensen.

    Self Storage Lubbock Texas can save your "crap" and in that case of post-apocalyptic hell, save your brain and glandular structures from being eaten by ravenous evil people with hollow eyes and sharp teeth.

    This has been a madness advertisement for Mini Storage Builders Texas as well as for the Post-Apocalyptic society of Oregon.

    Mr. T says, "Store fool."

    Store.

    S.

  • Los Angeles Lakers

    Just an update for those who did not realize:  The NBA team I play for (disguised as a taller and more athletic African American guy with the initials K.B.) just won a tough seven game series against the Denver Nuggets.

    We will win the title again this year.

    It has already been set up by some very rich gentlemen in some very nice offices.  We will play the Miami Heat in the Finals and I am supposed to get into it with Lebron a lot and the venom of an unforgiving public will crush the 3-time MVP as he misses a three pointer in game 7 to lose yet another title.

    I am not being cocky.  You can bet on this.  I am not even supposed to be sharing it because it sort of ruins the "fix" that has been set by top world officials.  But since no one believes that I, Ben Donley, could actually be the Black Mamba, no one will believe these predictions.

    So I will not be killed by the G-8.  Not for thirteen years at least.

    Anyway, that is the insider scoop from someone at the core of world politics and NBA basketball.

    Clark Kent = Superman

    Ben Donley = Kobe Bryant and Mitt Romney's wife and Kim Jong Il and Katy Perry and Tom Cruise (all depending on the season)

    As Ben Donley, I continue to be a Jesus follower, a Lubbock publisher, a master of Search Engine Optimization, a Game Designer and a kung-fu instructor.

    When I am not playing basketball, making out with Mitt, threatening to blow up the world, writing terrible songs and/or promoting false religions, please feel free to call me and I will consult you on how to best advertise your business.

    Don't settle for the lesser versions - Check out the top two Lubbock media companies and maybe the universe.

    Dream Taxi Media and Loudsmith Media

    Tag-team partners in brand development, reputation management, website construction, game making and okra tasting...

  • Doctor Dreams

    I know a lot of people who have doctor dreams.

    Not just about Patrick Dempsey on Grey's Anatomy - (my personal recurring nightmare - losing my scrubs in front of him and revealing my person in front of his well-built person...)

    But dreams about actually becoming doctors in America.

    I do not understand this dream.

    But I respect it.

    What I do not respect is the way one has to fight to become a doctor.

    Let's just begin with the MCAT battle -

    Good humans who simply want to be allowed to legally jam a scalpel through another person's skin or possibly just to prescribe helpful medicines that have been developed by evil Pharmaceutical companies - are forced to sit down in front of a large packet of tests which ask them to know about every difficult science and organism known to man -

    Incredibly smart and even sometimes kind people desiring to realize their dreams of becoming a doctor - humans who are willing to put in millions of hours for the supposed good of mankind and who also have to look good in scrubs and white coats - are asked to pass a paper test first.

    People become parents, which is a huge deal, and nobody makes them take any paper tests about diaper changing, the proper ways to discipline and how to feed spawn nutritious diets.

    Where is the PSAT?  The PRE?  The PMAT?

    There is not one - it is just intercoursing as the coursework and then an on the job training with a fragile piece of humanity...

    So, I scream injustice.  MCAT's are unfair.  One should not have to pass such a difficult paper test.  I know brilliant people who have the best hearts and would make the best doctors (I would even possibly enjoy a prostate exam from them), but who do not pass that test and thus end up becoming gas station attendants and convenience store veterinarians.

    But, my insistences that this test be canceled and replaced by a good game of Operation, will not be heeded.

    So, I guess I will use these last few sentences to send those of you looking for good MCAT materials to some good locations.  Amazing MCAT books and MCAT preparation courses are hard to find.

    So, I suggest you check out www.mcatpowerpack.com to find everything you need.

    Unless you want to fail and have broken dreams like mine.

  • What does it mean? Discovery in Storage

    A lot of people look back at their family tree to discover more about themselves - they find out the history of their blood ancestors and often assume that what was done before them sets a foundation as well as a larger progression that must be continued through them in some way or another.  What was done in their history is there to tell them something about their own life.

    I like trees.  Pretty much every sort.  Even the deciduous despite the fact they are so totally indecisive.  I especially like money trees and that new ticket oak I have seen on the ads - the googly-eyed, quick trusting tree handing out hard to find concert tickets to anyone who will give him a hug.

    But, I am not a big fan of family trees.  I do not think mine says much about me.  Just because I am part-Irish, part Scotch and part Native American does not mean I am meant to drink a fifth of liquor every night, chow down on potatoes, blow up Britain, dye my hair red, put myself through a peyote rite of passage and become a tough policeman who beats up on innocent passersby.

    And just because I have Free Willy and George Washington in my line does not mean I should eat fish, learn water-based tricks for adoring fans and wear wooden teeth all day long, getting splinters in my tongue every time I want to eat some cherries from the cherry tree.

    Now, while it is true that I do all of the above, I insist that it has nothing to do with my genealogy or my gene path or some tree.

    Anyway, I have digressed from the beginning.  It can be scary when you begin a blog digressing - never even mentioning your main point before running away from it.  It can be a sign of James Joyceness - a rare and terrible disease which leads to undeserved literary popularity and disgustingly bad novels.

    So I halt myself and get to the real point of this harangue.

    You don't learn from family trees as much as you can learn from a family storage shed.

    I am a representative of a Lubbock Storage partnership and a member of Self Storage Lubbock Texas and thus know of what I write.  I have seen inside more than my share of Lubbock Storage Units and as a result have come to know with only a few glances the intimate madness associated with a particular family's line.  How and what a family stores in the present days says everything about their past and their future.

    Thus begins my blog series on Self Storage Lubbock and how it relates to one's life.

    If you are into genealogy, dream interpretation and/or Pink Floyd, check back and read more about this mind shaking new breakthrough in life prediction.